29
Jan 12

Meryl Streep Sutra

On Saturday, I raced from a Buddhist monastery to see Meryl Streep in her landmark portrayal of the former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher. How could I have guessed that these wildly disparate activities would go so well together?  I presented the scholar monk Bhikkhu Bodhi with copies of Parabola’s gorgeous new “Burning World” issue, which opens with a fresh translation of the Buddha’s Fire Sermon and a contemporary commentary by Ven. Bodhi.  I also stayed to hear his weekly lecture on the earliest Buddhist teachings.  This particular Saturday, he spoke about the traditional teachings on renunciation or letting go.

What does this have to do with Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady?  Far more than I planned. In the Fire Sermon, the Buddha taught that all is impermanent, that all will be consumed by the fire of aging, sickness, and death. Streep portrays the prime minister out of power and in old age, suffering the early stages of dementia.  She is beyond brilliant. Indeed, her portrayal has been compared to the greatest portrayals of King Lear.  God is in the details, and Streep seems to empty herself completely. Her eyes, hands, face, body are filled with the experience of this once iron leader in decline.

Still, the Fire Sermon describes the unnecessary burning of greed, hatred, and aversion.  Not surprisingly for a monk, Ven. Bodhi describes the attitudes and actions necessary to put out the fires consuming our world in ways that would definitely be described in modern terms as liberal. Margaret Thatcher, on the other hand, is a conservative icon more than two decades after leaving office.  Despite the flaws in the story and no matter what your political leaning happens to be (Streep herself is liberal), this great perfomanence reminds viewers what leadership can be—flowing from inner conviction, not outer calculation. Streep portrays Thatcher as courageous and unshakable—a woman who learned to speak and move and in all ways manifest authority in a man’s world, and a very dangerous and imbalanced world.

It was a performance that has everything to do with an ancient Buddhist sutta about renunciation or letting go.  It shows how the very greatest acts originate in emptying, in relinquishing our own ideas and identifications.  After her recent Golden Globe win, Streep was asked by a reporter if she had a principle or something else that guided her when she took a role. Streep said:  “I’ve never gotten to the bottom of me, all the conundrums and contradictions….”  She allowed that she gravitated towards characters that helped her explore different aspects of her own character.  In other words, she doesn’t come from a fixed sense of who she was or who a character is supposed to be; she is open to the unknown.  As for Thatcher herself, although I disagree with her politics I came away from the film understanding something new about the power of commitment.

There is a kind of commitment does not consist in clinging to a fixed beliefs or ideas (which Lady Thatcher undoubtedly did in later years).  This special kind of commitment consists in  being willing to open to be part of something greater than our own thoughts, our own story.  “Must make vacuum,” Gurdjieff urged his students, only then can reality enter.  This requires an ability to be still, to sink below the din of thought.  As I’ve been sharing in this space, we can’t find freedom by straining towards it seeking to transcend ourselves.  We must see and accept what we are, the endless dance of the ego to identify with everything so that it can go on being.  Yet at moments, conditions conspire to help us let go of all that, so that life can rush in and remind us that we are each in fact part of a greater whole.

After a meeting of Parabola editors in Manhattan recently, a fellow Parabola editor and I slowly made our way uptown through heavy traffic, talking about those times when it seems as if the universe is with you.  Getting around in New York offers many wonderful teachings on this.  Sometime the subway is there waiting for you with doors wide open just when you need it, and you sometimes you stand and wait.  Sometimes you hit all green lights all the way up Park Avenue, and sometimes when you are late ad there is someplace you urgently have to be, traffic grinds to a halt.  Even when you remember that you too are part of the traffic, you can feel like life is against you.  You can decide that a golden few get to have great destinies—Meryl Streep, Margaret Thatcher, Gurdjieff, that certain someone who always has wonderful things happen to them—while the rest of us muddle along, Muggles among the magical.

Yet there can be moments when a door swings open and the light pours in, revealing magic in the most ordinary life.  My fellow editor told me a marvelous true story about a woman who arrived somewhere late after encountering all kinds of obstacles, only to rush into a room just as the light was hitting at an angle just right to glint off her lost engagement ring. It occurred to her that the universe might have been trying to help her by putting all those obstacles in her path.  If the great law of accident came to her aid, the underlying truth is just as magical.  Let go and let life enter.

Remember what life feels like when you fall in love?  It can feel as if a veil is pulled aside, as if we were never really isolated and alone but part of something vast and wonderful and alive.  It can seem as if the universe was leading us towards this encounter.  We are grateful for everything, even the disappointments and hard times, because it led to this.  Years later, we remember the taste of waking up from our usual trance of anxious and embattled isolation to find we are part of a greater whole. How can we open more often?   We need to see and accept what is—our freedom lay in knowing the details as well as Streep knew how Thatcher walked or washed a tea cup.

“In order to be present, I must understand the working of my thinking mind, that it’s function is to situation and explain, but not to experience,” writes Madame de Salzmann. “Thought is made up of accumulated knowledge in the form of images and associations, and it seizes an experience only to make it fit into categories of the known.”  And yet we come to know the mind in loving detail, we can open to something beyond the world of our known thought.   I’ve come to think of it more and more as softening—a softening towards what we are that deepens into the quiet acceptance, the real letting go that comes when you know you won’t get to the bottom of things.

Decades ago when I was just out of college, I was caught up in the story of being small, lacking the talent or luck or whatever other quality it would take to enable me to ever do more than witness the greatness of others (in those days I thought witnessing was a small thing). I was working as an underling in the movie business.  I had a job that included sometimes greeting big producers who had come into the office for meetings and hearing not hello but “Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke.”  I was to get things and bring things. One day, into the office came Meryl Streep.  She smiled at me asked if she might come into my tiny office and sit down with her baby.  Yes, I said.  Her manner was very soft and present.  She looked at me and smiled. It was a memorable feeling in those surroundings, being treated as if I really existed beyond my limited functions. She admired a painting hanging on the wall behind my desk, asking me if it was by a certain someone, an art star.  I said no, but I thought this young artist was very influenced by the art star Streep mentioned.  Streep laughed and told me that she never worried about being influenced or borrowing or stealing from other artists.  She said something to the effect that everything she good had ever done (and by then she had done Sophie’s Choice and many other great roles) she had stolen.  I got what she meant immediately, that it all starts with imitation, with borrowing, stealing.  It all starts with something that has come before, an thought, an image, and then comes the work of opening to something real.

It took me many years to begin to understand about what it means to be open, to create a vacuum.  Soon on long ago day, Streep was ushered out to meet with some big lawyers and executives. Instantly her demeanor changed as she stepped forward to greet them.  I was left with an impression of fluidity, of changing to meet changing circumstances.  There was also an impression of generosity and kind of radiance.  She glowed.  Gurdjieff once said that the highest role we can aspire to is actor in a very special sense–to play a role consciously without becoming identified.  Streep was recently asked how she felt about being called possibly the greatest actor who ever lived.  She smiled and said she just doesn’t take in such statements the way she takes in other facts.  Of course this is a polite and politic thing to say (what a question!) But I have an indelible impression of the kindness and generosity she expressed towards an underling. I saw for myself she understands a few real facts about letting go, about not clinging to who you think you are, old limiting thoughts and feelings, about going beyond.

 


25
Jan 12

Do Good Anyway–Mother Teresa

A few weeks ago, I posted the following quote from Mother Teresa on Parabola’s facebook page:

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

The “thumbs up” clicks of approval came in moments after I posted, and kept multiplying.  Mother Teresa tapped into a collective wish and knowledge.  Most of us have had moments when we have been on intimate terms with life—moments when we live our lives from the inside instead outside, in thoughts about how we’re doing in the race of life or how others see us. Thoreau discovered that when he marched to his own drummer “new, universal, and more liberal laws begin to establish themselves around and within him….In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness.”

 Sometimes a door swings open in the midst of your ordinary life, and you walk out of the cramped room of known into the real world.  The moment you do this, you may wonder why you have accepted to live as you have for so long, asleep, lost to life and your own true self and life’s true dimension and possibilities. How does this happen? We all know from life and literature that exquisite happiness can be shattered in a moment.  Yet it’s important to remember that the reverse can happen as well.  The trance of unhappiness and unworthiness can be dispelled and we can connect.  How can we make ourselves available to such a moment of grace?

I’m beginning to suspect that the answer is deeply counterintuitive, even revolutionary.  I mean, we can’t seek to escape the limitations of our lives, but turn to face them without blinking, even to sink into the mess.  The light from the larger world shines through the gaps like starlight through a roof full of holes.  We have to seek to be in the midst of it all—not just in outer life but in ourselves.  We need to cultivate an attention that embraces body, heart, and mind–and the gaps between. I wrote last week about equanimity, regarded as one of the most sublime emotions in Buddhist practice. Far from a state of bland indifference, it is held to be the ground for true wisdom and freedom.

The English word “equanimity” translates two separate Pali words (a dialect of Sanskrit similar to that used by the Buddha). Each represents a different aspect of equanimity. The most common Pali word translated as “equanimity” is upekkha, meaning “to look over.” It refers to the equanimity that arises from taking in the big picture and not being caught by what we see. This form of equanimity is sometimes compared to patient grandmotherly love (thanks to Gil Fronsdal for this knowledge).

The second word often translated as equanimity is tatramajjhattata, a compound made of simple Pali words. Tatra, meaning “there,” sometimes refers to “all these things.” Majjha means “middle,” and tata means “to stand or to pose.” Put together, the word becomes “to stand in the middle of all this.” As a form of equanimity, “being in the middle” refers to finding our balance, remaining centered in the middle of whatever is happening. How can we find such a posture?  In my experience, it requires accepting exactly what is without reaction, sinking deep into the mess that we are, accepting the shallow and repetitious nature of our thoughts, accepting that our true feelings are cut off from our awareness, surrounded by the electrified wire of our reactions.  Equanimity is the kind of inner strength that comes from acceptance.  Balance comes when we when we are grounded, literally in touch with the ground of our own being, humble.

Equanimity is a protection from the “eight worldly winds”: praise and blame, success and failure, pleasure and pain, fame and disrepute. If you wish to know what it is like to experience such a free state, think of times when you cared nothing for any of these things.  We all have moments of concentration and letting go, of forgetting all about ourselves and what other people think of us—moments when we seek to do what is good for its own sake.

I had such a time about a decade ago, when in the middle of the road of my life, I awoke like Dante in a dark wood. I thought I had lost my true way, my true self. Being lost heightens your sense of being present—and by that I mean your sense of what is and is not present?   What was absent was something I couldn’t put into words, a certain flow or ease in the world, a sense of connection with life and with my true self.  From a distance, my life might have looked ok, if hardly extraordinary.  I was a wife and mother.  I was a writer and editor who sometimes wrote about very interesting people who did interesting things.

But I felt like a little nibbler at the banquet of life, more of an observer than a participant. What brought this state of being outside myself into sharp focus was my daughter.  At that time, she was 11 or 12-years-old, haunted by 9/11, and lonely after our recent move from Brooklyn.  The Lord of the Rings was her refuge, her standard, and I encouraged this. I had the sense of wanting to be more for her, yet feeling very small and flawed.

One day during this time, I was asked to go interview a young author who happened to be dying.  The call came in just before I had lunch the Buddhist meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg.  I mentioned my fear to Sharon, my sense that I had nothing to offer. Sharon told me that the Buddha’s advice to those who were to sit with the dying was to aspire to lift up their hearts by reminding them of the good they did with their lives.

As I crossed the threshold of the loft where the young woman lay sleeping, surrounded by oxygen tanks and nurses, I had the sensation that the idea from the Buddha slid palpably from my head to the center of my being.  As I crept softly to the bedside, I had the sensation that I was carrying a live coal, the way primitive people carried live coals from place to place before to kindle fire.  As I sat down on the bed, I forgot all about myself and my deficiencies and became a means to transmit to say and shine back the good this person had done with her brief life.  I thanked her for sharing her experience with such honesty, and with such a powerful wish to connect.  I told her it was going to help and comfort many people.  This is what it means to really live a rich and deep life, I assured her, and as I told her I realized how deeply I believed this to be true.

That day, I realized that at any given moment a person can slip into a new life, operating under new laws.  In those moments we may experience a greater wholeness.  In those moments, we realize that we can live our life from the inside, seeking to serve and be useful one moment after the next instead of seeking to be rich or famous or any other thing change.

In those moments, we know what Mother Teresa was talking about and what the late, great Vaclav Havel conveys here: “Hope is a state of the mind, not of the world….Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed.”


18
Jan 12

Humility

The world is burning, taught the Buddha.  Even if we aren’t in the midst of a battlefield, we sense that this is true.  Everything changes, passes.  What can we possibly trust?  Yesterday, my daughter and I went to see “War Horse,” Stephen Spielberg’s visually beautiful and unabashedly sentimental movie about a war horse in World War I, and about the power of love to prevail even in the midst of the savagery of war.  I thought my anglophile daughter would be moved by the English sunsets and young English soldiers in the trenches, but I don’t think she was, at least not as much as I.  I loved it. I cried.

I feel that the appeal of movies like “War Horse” is in the vicarious thrill of witnessing great feelings and deeds, unimpeded by inner and outer conditions, the way life really is.   Spy movies and crime shows actually offer a related kind of satisfaction—they allow us to watch people doing nearly impossible things very quickly and well.  This affirms the buried hope in us that there is a quality or energy in us that can meet conditions and prevail no matter what is going on. The great Shakespearean director Peter Brook once explained that he had actors flying across the stage on trapezes in his groundbreaking version of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” because he thought very quick, skillful movement conveyed the spirit in action.  Watching it, we may feel something in our own hearts and minds elevate and quicken, the way we feel sometimes watching a cat move or the way I felt watching that beautiful horse gallop across no man’s land, away from the madness of war, never mind the barbed wire.

Yet as much as I love watching all kinds of movies, I also secretly know that my real possibility for freedom, the source of the energy that might lift me up out of the narrow and repetitive band width of my thought is not up on the screen but in that act of awareness that turns me back on myself—on the projector and the act of projection, if you will.  The potential for liberation dwells in the gap between what we dream and what we see we really are in any given moment.  A day or so ago, for example, my daughter and I were sitting opening a big pile of Parabola donation letters.  I was full of gratitude and also full of the dreamy thought that Alex might see how fulfilling and meaningful this work is for her Mom, that she would glimpse something beyond the humble conditions and wages.  Instead I heard this: “Why don’t you take this pile of envelopes and make sure they’re empty before we throw them away.” My capable daughter had swiftly and deftly taken the job away from me, organizing everything into neat piles, leaving me to check the trash…leaving me with a very familiar taste of ashes and a sense of coming out of the clouds and landing hard on the ground.

It is humbling, every time life reminds me that I’m not that swift at any number of practical things (and it happens with some frequency).  The root of humble is from the Latin “humilis,” meaning low, from “humus” or ground, earth.  It is also related to the Latin word for human and humane or kind, and this connection between down-to-earthness and kindness makes a great deal of sense to me, doesn’t it to you?  Isn’t it a liberating joy to be around a person who doesn’t think he or she is above the rest of us?   In other languages the connection between humble and the earth is the same.  More and more, I see humility as a crucial quality for living and helping in this burning world.

Mother Teresa said, “If you are humble, nothing can touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know who you are.”  I often think of the Buddha touching the earth before his enlightenment, asking the earth to bear witness, to sit with him.  Humility or touching the earth, as Mother Teresa knew, is the best way to open the mind and heart and to find our balance in this shifting world.  It is the best way the keep the big picture in view.   In my own experience, being humbled can give rise to equanimity (eventually).  This quality is held to be a very fine attainment in the Buddhist practice.  It is a state of mind is grounded yet wide and free, lowly, but not low. The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as “abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will.”

The English word “equanimity” is translated by two separate Pali words (Pali is a dialect similar to the one used by the Buddha). Each represents a different aspect of equanimity. The most common Pali word translated as “equanimity” is upekkha, meaning “to look over.” It means being able to see the way Mother Teresa said we can see when we are humble, without imposing our judgments and reactions on what we see, just peacefully abiding with what we see.  It means peacefully and patiently keeping the big picture in mind.

Here is a little more on equanimity from Buddhist teacher Gil Fronsdal: “Colloquially, in India the word was sometimes used to mean ‘to see with patience.’ We might understand this as ‘seeing with understanding.’ For example, when we know not to take offensive words personally, we are less likely to react to what was said. Instead, we remain at ease or equanimous. This form of equanimity is sometimes compared to grandmotherly love. The grandmother clearly loves her grandchildren but, thanks to her experience with her own children, is less likely to be caught up in the drama of her grandchildren’s lives.

The second word often translated as equanimity is tatramajjhattata, a compound made of simple Pali words. Tatra, meaning “there,” sometimes refers to “all these things.” Majjha means “middle,” and tata means “to stand or to pose.” Put together, the word becomes “to stand in the middle of all this.” As a form of equanimity, “being in the middle” refers to balance, to remaining centered in the middle of whatever is happening. This balance comes from inner strength or stability….”

In my experience, balance or stability comes with humility, with touching the earth.  It is hard to fall off the earth.  Echoing Mother Teresa again, equanimity in the Buddhist tradition is held to be a protection against the “eight worldly winds”: praise and blame, success and failure, pleasure and pain, fame and disrepute.   There are moments in life that are so humbling that the mind and heart open completely to the truth of the impermanence of our lives and all the qualities we usually cling to.  Letting go of our usual defensive reactions can bring an extraordinary sense of equanimity, of calmly and humbly opening to the mystery of life.  Never mind how others may judge us.

The two slightly differently forms of equanimity, seeing the big picture and finding our balance in the midst of it all, come together at moments.  There are moments, as Mother Teresa points out and as I saw glimpses of it in “War Horse,” when we let go completely of any hope for gain or praise or anything else. These moments are completely under the radar of the worldly winds of fame and ill repute  (and part of the vicarious thrill of movies like “War Horse” can include comparing your pretend fineness to the cowardly behavior of others). And yet, sometimes when we are engaged in the most humble and unsung of occupations or actions, we may experience an unusual degree of peace and freedom.   We may even feel like war horse, galloping free across no man’s land.


11
Jan 12

Disenchantment

“Monks, all is burning,” the Buddha taught in his “Fire Sermon.”  A fresh translation of this ancient teaching by scholar monk Bhikkhu Bodhi is the opening piece in Parabola’s upcoming “Burning World” issue, and for good reason.  In little more than 300 words, he describes the root cause of the overwhelming global challenges we face today.  The Buddha looked out over a thousand monks and serenely explained that through every sense door pour impressions that burn us “with the fire of greed, with the fire of hatred, with the fire of delusion.”  He assured them that even if they worked to put out those daily brush fires of desire and aversion, there was a greater, more unstoppable fire advancing: of the impermanence of life, and the sorrow and despair that comes with death and with all that passes.

Did the Buddha offer a happy ending?  Not in a Disney princess sense. I used to picture walking for days hoping for a magical formula.  And yet what he offered actually does have a thread of connection with Sleeping Beauty. The Buddha told people that “disenchantment” was the key–  disenchantment with all the objects of the senses and the mind, with everything we yearn for or fear or otherwise grant the power to make us happy or unhappy, to be satisfied or dissatisfied. Disenchantment leads to a dispassionate attitude and finally to liberation.  I used to think of this solution as a kind of prison sentence, a state of radical restraint.  I thought of the monks shorn of all pleasures and attachments, from chocolate to love, voluntary inmates living life at the lowest possible flame.  Over the years, meditation has helped me see disenchantment in a radically different way.

Disenchantment means waking up to the true scale and possibilities of life. It does not mean growing numb and experiencing life as less than it is but developing an attention that is more quick and supple, able to go beyond our usual addictive one-way attachment to our thoughts and feelings and all the things “out there” that we long to make us happy.  Waking up is revolutionary act in the sense that it radically reverses our usual addictive tendencies, returning the attention us to what is arising in the moment and to ourselves.  As the focus of our attention shifts from “out there” to “right here, right now” our usual sense of separation and isolation tends to fall away.

“Meditation is the DNA of the kindness revolution,” says Pancho Ramos Stierle, who practices meditation and kindness in the midst of strife-torn, contemporary Oakland, California. According to Stierle and his friend Nipun Mehta, who writes about Stierle in the upcoming Burning World issue, we can transform the world starting right where we are.  It can begin with the smallest of acts, picking up broken glass in the street or sitting down to meditate.  Pictures of Pancho being arrested in Oakland as he was deeply meditating (for “disturbing the peace?”) went out over the internet, causing thousands upon thousands of people to pause and question. When we are awake, there is no such thing as a nobody as opposed to a celebrity, and no such thing as small act as opposed to a grand or important deed.  As Gandhi knew, as Buddha and Jesus surely knew and demonstrated,  seemingly small acts of care for our neighbor done with great consciousness can be vast, cosmic.

Of course we don’t all have cosmic consciousness, but we are all being invited to be a little disenchanted and see that we really can’t separate ourselves from an increasingly critical global situation.  The search for wisdom cannot be separate from compassion.  I’m not saying that we are all called to get arrested for meditating like Pancho or march to the sea like Gandhi.  But we really must all raise the question of what it means to live a good life now.

“Everything that was external and away from us surrounds us now,” says Jonathan Rose, a Manhattan builder and green thought leader, also in this issue.  “The economy is globalized.  But climate change knows no boundary except the earth itself.  The effects will reach every one of us.” How are we to change?   The first thing that has to change is how we see ourselves.  We need to become disenchanted, awakened from the trance of our addictions, aware that we are inextricably part of a larger whole.


05
Jan 12

Epiphany

Lately, I’ve had a visit from a savage cold and cough.  The enforced rest allows me to do things I don’t usually allow myself to do during the work week, including watching Woody Allen’s “Midnight in Paris” yesterday evening.  It has also given me a chance to have an epiphany–just in time for the feast of the Epiphany tomorrow.

In “Midnight in Paris,” an unhappy young screenwriter played by Owen Wilson (acting like Woody himself) visits Paris with his fiancé and future in-laws.  Walking alone one evening, he discovers that he can travel back in time to Paris in the 20’s, every evening after the clock strikes 12.  Among other heroes, he meets Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and the wild and dazzling Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald.  I bet most readers of this blog can guess the resolution (spoiler alert, as they say): it has to do with accepting the present rather than living in the past.  The protagonist learns that present is unsatisfactory because real life is messy like that, the wheels don’t turn as smoothly as they do in dreams.  Before I drifted off to sleep, I picked up A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway.  I read a harrowing account of the hellish life of poor Scott Fitzgerald, who looked so glamorous in his brief cameo in the movie.

This was my epiphany:  there is usually quite a story submerged under the insights we have on the path.  Take the experience of letting go.  In one way, it is a very simple and direct action.  Whatever the mind is clinging to right now, drop it and return to an awareness of the present moment,.  We all take this action of letting go of thoughts of Fitzgerald or what you had for lunch, returning to the simple, rich experience of being here and now.  No matter how raw or unsatisfactory that experience may be (it’s not so much fun when you have a cough), that action of returning to or remembering ourselves usually brings a burst of a fresh, new energy and attention that attunes us to the larger world— a larger intelligence.  Yet, as refreshing and energizing as this is, we don’t remember to do it all that often, and we rarely let go completely.  We start to make the effort and very quickly remember an email that needs sending.

My epiphany involved realized that letting go completely is the tip of a very big ice berg, the end of a long and winding road, the resolution of a gripping drama—choose your cliché.  There are moments of letting go in which a luminous, clear energy and attention appears.  The formidable French teacher, Madame de Salzmann described this way:  “It is an attention that will contain everything and refuse nothing, that will not take sides or demand anything.  It will be without possessiveness, without avidity, but always with a sincerity that comes from the need to remain free in order to know.”  This is a revolutionary state in which the act of seeing and receiving is greater than any object, any perceived outer goal.  What would it take to land in such a place, to be truly impartial and nonpossessive, to see through to the real aim and meaning of our life?

In the Christian tradition, the Epiphany marks the day the wise men from the East came to pay homage to the infant Jesus. According to Matthew 2:1–12, they followed a miraculous guiding star to Bethlehem and brought gifts of “gold and frankincense and myrrh.” These three wise men or Magi saw through surface appearances to the divinity of Jesus. Their visit was seen as evidence that the Gentiles as well as the Jews would worship Jesus.   “Magi,” from which the English word “magic” comes, denotes follower of  Zoroaster and was associated with an ability to see through things, including the ability to read the stars and the fate that the stars foretold.

The word “epiphany” comes from an ancient Greek word meaning “”manifestation” or “striking appearance,” and it refers to that sudden realization or comprehension or illumination of the larger essence or meaning of something. Usually such moments, even when they come to brilliant scientists, happen after significant labor.  Often this labor involves wrong turns and humilitation which leads to humility—which derives from “humus” or earth.  Often epiphanies come in moments when we are touching the earth.

After long labor and struggle, much drama, a moment comes when we let go, when we drop it all and return to the simple experience of standing on the earth.  There may be a beautiful sensation of putting down the chain we usually drag through life, the chain of karma, or (to put it more modestly) the chain of caring what other people think of you, caring how things come out and if you are a success in the eyes of the world and all that.   Instead of being broken by this world like poor, gifted Scott Fitzgerald, we can break free.  We can step off the wheel of seeking, of greed, aversion, delusion about better times.  We can stop and be still and return to ourselves, which (irony of ironies) is the same as forgetting the self and becoming one with others.

Enlightenment may turn out ot be the simple yet radical act of stopping in the tracks of our seeking and returning to ourselves—to the ground of our real being. It may turn out to involve an action of the heart more than the mind (In other cultures the mind includes the heart and the body).  It involves opening to and allowing ourselves to be pierced by the whole blessed story.  Sometimes, allowing ourselves to try this–just giving up and letting go and being here–we may discover that miracles never cease.