This is Election Week in the United States. All the feelings that many of us are feeling is actually a place of practice. The mother of all the thoughts and emotions that are bubbling up is anxious uncertainty. It feels as if we are waiting to cross a border.
“Well, we’re nowhere now!” Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo said this to me as we sat in the nowhere land between Nepal and India. We had exited Nepal, but there was a problem with the distinguished nun’s visa for India, so we all sat together between countries for time–literally between two heavily guarded, bunker-like buildings. Wild dogs and soldiers with machine guns watched us, a group of Tibetan Buddhist nuns and American women wondering what would come next.
We were on a pilgrimage in Nepal and India, retracing the footsteps of the first Buddhist women. My group didn’t walk from Lumbini, Nepal, to Vaishali, India, as the earliest pilgrims did. But traveling hundreds of miles overland by bus offered all kinds of lessons–among them the value of determination. To be determined, I learned, is not steely will but a softer, steadier state–a willingness to show up for what is happening even when it is confusing or difficult–a willingness to go on being.
After some time and a tiny bit of yelling (great spiritual teachers do raise their voices–very mindfully of course) we did make it across the border into India. But while I sat in that no man’s land with Jetsunma and the dogs and the border guards and everyone else, I realized–yet again–that a great deal of our practice comes down to being with ourselves like a wonderful, loving friend–yes, like a Buddha. Our practice is not to repress anxiety, fear, anger, even downright panic but to meet it with wisdom and compassion.
Whatever you are feeling right now, let it be acceptable, human, not something to flee or fix. Tak good actions. Meditate. Go for walks, practice yoga, clean your house, cook something. Be kind to your experience, and know that self-compassion is really important and leads to deeper truths.
The night of the Buddha’s enlightenment lasted a long time. There was no single blinding flash of certainty that lit up the sky. There came a series of unfolding illuminations, a slow dawning of understanding. He came to understand the way our minds create a sense of self, and the law of karma. Ultimately, he came to see how our suffering is rooted in a sense of separation.
This week, when you can,try to notice when the sense of separation seems particularly sharp. And notice that we can bring compassionate acceptance to this very state–and even a bit of lightness. Loving awareness doesn’t have to be serious. It can be the kind of friend we feel we shouldn’t be allowed to sit next to on solemn occasions–loving but also open to the absurdity of even the situation. Open to moments of joy.
Notice that we can hang out together in no man’s land–and beyond.
Tracy Cochran 